maKhsuus

Rukhsati...

2008-02-27T13:18:00.006Z

Rukhsati was on 16th April 2005. Whole day passed in running around for last minute preparations for setting the stage, getting the car decorated, ordering cake, getting clothes ironed and ready, etc etc. Around 4pm Fatee went to the parlour with her best friend, I went to get the car done with her cousin. Everything was ready by around 7pm. We headed back to the venue together and everyone was pleasently shocked to see Fatee looking so beautiful.

She looked different, in a good way ofcourse. The dress was simple yet gorgeous, her eyes looked deep and full of love and excitement. She smelled divine. Even after almost three years, I still feel like it all happened yesterday.

Programs started by exchanging gifts between our families. Then the most boring part of all, pictures with everyone. Some people wanted it alone with us, some with friends, some with family, some in all, some wanted to stand here, some there, argh!!!!!

Food was served, and for an hour or so we were free, because everyone was busy eating and some guests forced us to eat from their plates *smack* Be it India or Pakistan, some things are still the same :-)

After a long long time...

2008-02-27T13:14:00.002Z

My oh my! Its been more than a year since I last updated Makhsuus. So many regular readers complained about my not updating this blog regularly but now even they have stopped complaining. I am sorry my dear friends. It was a mad year 2007. You will see, I mean read about it in this blog.

Okie so I will start from where I left it.

Mehendi...

2006-12-30T22:56:00.000Z

Day after Mayoon was Mehendi. The venue was lawn of her friends house. It was huge and beautiful. All arrangements were done in the morning except music. One of her friend was suppose to bring over his band and had done rehearsals for all the songs he was going to sing.

There was a photo session in the living room of the house where the function was. As soon we were done with the photo session and we came out to be on stage, we noticed there was no music no band nothing. We tried calling the person who was supposed to arrange the music but couldnt get through. Alhamdolillah, the camera man arranged for the music at a very short notice and everyone started enjoying the live DJ thingee.

Function started with exchaning gifts between our families and then gifts for me and more gifts and more gifts and then more gifts.

Since there were very few members from my family, half of Fatee's family became my side of team and remaining half of her side, then the music competetion started and it was soooooo much fun.

Then there was one rasm of Fatee's sister putting mehendi on my hand in lieu of money... normally it is like few hundred rupees but I was fleeced because had to pay in GBPs :-(

There was a dancing hour as well which started with her friends dancing on songs they had prepared and ended up with her couple of cousin brothers dancing on tune of Dhoom Macha De... and almost same steps *smack* It was fun to watch though.

Later dinner was served and the program finished at around 1am. It was too tiring to be on stage and smiling all the time. Atleast it was good it was in Pakistan, in India you have to get up for every guest and then have to touch feet of all the elder hindu guests as well.

Mayoon...

2006-11-17T23:25:00.000Z

Mayoon, this was the function my family and I were going to attend for the first time. We didnt know what Mayoon actually was. Fatee explained me that her friends get her a yellow dress and all the accessories to go with that dress. In Fatee's case, her friend A. arranged everything. Then everyone from the family and friends came one by one to us, applied ubtan on our face, chameli oil in our hair and also mehendi on hands. But since she had already applied mehendi on hands, we used paan ka leaf and five rupee note for mehendi. Also, they were supposed to give a bit of sweet and do the circle thingee of the money on our heads and give it as sadqa.

It was fun, but everyone insisted we had to eat the whole piece of sweet rather than just a bit. I was full after 4-5 rounds but we had to undergo atleast 25 rounds. I guess you can imagine my situtation.

While we were going through this eating and ubtan-mehendi-oil routine, everyone else was busy with dholki, singing and dancing. It was a wonderful scenario, everyone was having fun, everyone was taking part, everyone was wishing us good luck for our future. I am sure its their blessings that we are having such a wonderful life, MashaAllah.

By the time we had gone through 10-15 rounds of the rasm, we started looking someone different already :-)

We had a photo session with everyone in the family. We had to pose with them individually, in pairs, with family, with friends, uffff so many pictures. They made us feel like some celeberaties, I knew this would last just a couple more days after that same old life. Sigh.

Everyone was very considerate while applying ubtan-mehendi-oil thingee untill Maryam, Fatee's sisters best friend, came to apply the stuff. She used all the mehendi available, all the ubtan left and all the oil and applied everything on us. We were looking like ghosts *smack* We had to go and wash everything off after that. It was good coz that stopped the process all together and I was spared from eating those mithais again. Alhamdolillah.

After everyone was tired of all the singing and dancing, dinner was served. I can still remember the taste of cheese ball thingees *yummy*

I want to re-marry.

Fatee ofcourse, for all the fun :-)

Arrivals...

2006-10-08T22:55:00.000+01:00

We got a call from India that my family is leaving early in the morning for Pakistan. They were supposed to reach Lahore in the afternoon. We were expecting a call from them in the afternoon so that we could arrange for someone to pick them up from Lahore and bring them over to Pindi. We didnt receive any call from them till 7pm. Ammi was getting worried about them. I was cool. I knew my younger brother was with them so they wouldnt end up in any trouble.

Finally at around 9pm we received a call from my brother saying they have already reached Pindi and are waiting for us to pick them up. We all went to pick them up. Half of them arrived by one bus, remaining arrived on next one. The first group that arrived didnt have the phone numbers hence the confusion. We thought all is well that ends well. Finally they were here for the shaadi and on time. They were all welcomed with flowers and gifts. Then late night they were served with wonderful food.

Next day was our Mayoon function. I was looking forward to it. We dont have this function in Indian shaadis.

Kaatha Rasm...

2006-10-04T22:47:00.000+01:00

So after Mahurat I went out with her cousin to Islamabad for some more shopping and roaming around. I was loving every bit of it. The greenery, well planned roads, proper shopping places, etc etc. We went to his shop which was cooooool huge and I was amazed to see atleast 200 different types of cheeses there. Then we went to pick my shaadi clothes up, after a trial I was thankful to Allah that everything was going perfectly well. My family was supposed to arrive the next day.

Next day was Kaata kutne ki rasm. Hmmm so about this rasm, four women sit on four corners of a square cloth with that pastel thingee. Two women from Fatee's mom side and two from her dad's side. They crush big chunks of kattha (catechu) pieces with jasmine oil and milk to make a paste. It is said that the sound of crushing the catechu keeps away the devil during whole of the shaadi process and everything goes on smooth. The paste is then applied to everyone's face, just a finger touch.

Gifts were given to everyone by Fatee's mom. Then... you guessed it right, food and more food. I was loving this food part a lot :-)

Mahurat...

2006-10-03T20:19:00.000+01:00

So we were woken up early in the morning as everyone was getting ready for the Mahurat rasm.

Hmmm let me give you an idea about this rasm. A coconut, some supari (beetlenuts), whole termeric, misri (crystal sugar) and some other stuff is tied in the centre of a red linen cloth and it is tied on all the four sides above the enterance of the house where shaadi is taking place. The young girls of the house ties the knots. In our case it was done by Fatee's aapa's daughters. This marks start of the shaadi ceremonies and keeps evils away from the house.

With every function during shaadi there has to be some food/drinks to be served so there it was. Food and drinks were served for everyone present.

Early to bed...

2006-10-03T19:49:00.000+01:00

I was feeling a bit tired in the evening and I thought I would go to sleep early. All the family members went to their places. Fatee, her sister and I went to Fatee's room (which was now my room) to talk before I go to sleep. At around 3am Fatee went to sleep, her sister and I kept talking. At around 5:30am, ammi woke up for fajr and was surprised to see we two still talking :-D she asked her to go to sleep immediately and I was ordered to sleep as we had to go to Islamabad to buy my shaadi clothes.

So I went to bed early, early in the morning that is :-)

Woke up around 11am, we then went to Islamabad with her and her cousin. I liked the look and feel of Isb. We went to around 10 different shops but could not find anything remotely good. I was tensed for the first time about my clothes. But luckily I found a place and got the thing I really wanted. The kurta was a bit too big, but the shopkeeper assured me that it will be made to my size next day. So one load off the mind. We went out and had some tikkas and kebabs *yummy*

Next day was Mahurat.

Meeting the family...

2006-10-03T19:39:00.000+01:00

As soon as we reached home, we had tea and snacks and immediately we left to her friends place. She was going to bring the letter from the internal affair ministry. This letter was for my family's visa approval. We were still not sure if she already had the letter. We needed the letter at all cost otherwise my family would have missed a few shaadi functions.

She gave the good news that the letter was with her and we immediately faxed it to Delhi where my family was waiting for it. They applied for the visa same day and got it. They were lucky enough to get seats to travel to Pak as well. Alhamdollilah. Now when we think about it, everything was so last minute.

When we came back, her cousins were already at home waiting for us. I had talked to all of them on chats/webcams but this was the first time I was meeting them. It was good. I liked them all. Then came phoopis and phoopas, khalus and khalas, chachis and chachas, mamis and mamos, other cousins and their wives, it was too confusing to remember who was who but it was a very very very warm welcome from each and everyone of them.

I was loving the attention I was getting :-D

Off to Rawalpindi

2006-09-27T21:27:00.000+01:00

So after unsuccessful search of proper shaadi clothes, we took off for Rawalpindi the next afternoon. It was sad to leave Karachi so soon without enjoying its nights and night food. I was regretting not going to the Karachi Club with her khaloo. We were not planning to come back to Karachi before leaving for India. One side I was sad on the other side I was excited to go to Rawalpindi. The city of the fastest bowler of the world. And the beautiful Islamabad.

We reached there around 5pm. Fatee's cousin was suppose to pick us up from the airport. Again, we were there waiting outside. Then I saw a car parked on the opposite side with a beautiful, jaana pehchana face. After a few moments I realised that was Fatee's younger sister. Her cousin was looking for us. We found him. We started off towards Sadar. The roads started with wide, clean, controlled ones and were transforming into congested, dusty, narrow inner city roads. When it became narrowest and most congested, full of potholes and hawkers, Fatee told me we are in Sadar :-)

I loved the feel of the place. Busy. Loads of food stalls, naan-kababs, tikka shops, etc etc. I knew that very moment that I will love to be in Pindi.

Way Home...

2006-09-26T21:11:00.001+01:00

It was so good to see her again. We talked about how the flights were but I was just looking at her. My brain was on auto-pilot, I was giving answers to her questions where as my eyes were on her.

Mom had given a colorful chunri for her, the rajasthani tie-n-dye one. I asked her to wear that one and she did, she looked prettier. MashaAllah.

We were waiting for her cousin who was supposed to be there to receive us and take us home. After a couple of phone calls and half an hour of wait, she saw him coming. We were off to her khala's place. I loved the view from the car. Karachi looked like Bombay, but a bit cleaner :-p

It was a royal welcome at home, I took shower and food was served. Home made food after 3 months was divine. Immediately after lunch, I had to go to the Chundrigar Road Office for registeration, we were supposed to go shopping for my Shaadi clothes. I waited for 3 hours outside the office but still was not able to do the registeration for some odd reason. They dont allow the guest inside the office, so guests sits outside beneath a tree in heat, dust and pollution where as the person whose address I had given on the visa form, has to go in to get the registeration done.

It was already late evening when I came back home, we immediately went out for shopping, unfortunately was not able to see anything interesting... everyone said, that I will have to give them measurements and they will make one for me *halo*

I was more interested in food tought, ate Chicken Cheese rolls at Roll Inn, then Boat Basin par stuff and then some gol guppay, etc etc.

Leaving for Pakistan...

2006-09-25T21:18:00.000+01:00

My apologies for not updating the blog as frequently as I used to. Many reasons... for later :-)

So finally it was 8th of April 2005, my first ever trip to Pakistan. I took GulfAir from Heathrow to Abu Dhabi and from there to Karachi. As soon as I landed at Karachi, I didnt feel anything different. Same people almost same language, same weather, same clothes. It took me half an hour or so to go through the immigration process. I was asked to go and report to Chundrigar Road office of internal affairs in next 24 hours since I hold an Indian passport. My luggage was already there waiting for me. I picked up my luggage and came out. I was scanning the whole airport for a face. Face so near to my heart. Someone I talked to, listened to, loved, missed, imagined for exactly four months, but being away a few thousands miles. Now was to time to meet her again.

I couldnt see her anywhere. I was a bit worried but then I thought may be her flight didnt reach on time. After a few minutes I saw someone in white shalwar kameez, white dupatta, silver jewellery, white sandals, looking beautiful than ever before, looking for someone. I let her look around, then slowly I went behind her and whispered in her ear. Hello. The look and expressions on her face cannot be described. No matter how much I try to write.

The four boring, lonely, stressful months of not being together vanished in a moment. We were together again.

Preparations...

2006-08-15T12:09:00.000+01:00

So finally after spending four months alone, missing her all the time, it was time to go to Pakistan for Shaadi. I had booked my tickets for 8th April for Karachi. She was supposed to fly to Karachi on 8th Morning and we would be meeting on the airport. Her flight was to land half an hour before mine.

Visas for my parents and other family members were still under process and we were praying all the time so that they all get their visas done on time. The problem was not just the visa but also the tickets. You cannot buy the tickets unless you have the visa. She and her friend use to go to the Internal Ministry office almost daily to check the status of their visa. There was very little time. Eleven members from my family were planning to come to Pakistan for the shaadi. They had booked their tickets from Bhusawal to Dehli and back. My younger brother had his wedding planned a week after mine so everything had to fo as per the plan. There was no window for any delays/postponements. We had our faith in Allah :-)

Her family and my family were also worried about my clothes. I had not done any shopping at all, I had left it all for the last minute. I had kept a day and a half in Karachi before going to Pindi for shopping. I was cool about it :-)

Time almost stopped a week before I was supposed to fly. Days dragged into hours. Hours dragged into minutes. And so on.

Her birthday...

2006-08-08T12:06:00.000+01:00

The days went by. Some went by quickly and some dragged for ever. The most boring days was a day before her birthday and her birthday. It was her first birthday since we met and we were not together. I had asked her cousin to go over to her place and give her a bouqet of roses and a box of chocolates on my behalf. I called her so many times during the day to check if her cousin had come to her place but he didnt :-(

Finally just 10 minutes before 12 I told her how her cousin betrayed me and blah blah and there he was just 5 minutes before 12, he was there with the flowers and chocolates. I wish I had kept quiet for another five minutes *smack*.

I had sent her 2 gifts strategically sent a day after other from UK so that if one of them misses the deadline then atleast the other one reaches her on the day. And guess what? Both the parcels reached her on same day, a day before her birthday *smack*

I will be with her on her next birthday. InshaAllah.

Good Bye from India...

2006-08-07T12:07:00.000+01:00

So after staying for exactly a month, together, it was time to go back to Pakistan for her and time to go back to the UK for me.

We went to Mumbai with Parvez and stayed there for a day before we sorted out her tickets for Karachi. We spent a day in Mumbai shopping around. I was not in mood for anything. All I could think was that she will be gone for another 3-4 months and I will be back to the boring UK all alone. I was so used to her being with me, her non stop talking, her smile, her laughter and her tears. Yeah, in our being together for a month, we managed to have a fight as well :-p but that was just for a couple of hours and I did see the river of tears flowing down her cheeks :-(

Her flight was on 8th January, mine was on 9th. After seeing her off, I stayed at my aunt's place for a day and left for the UK. It was the most boring flight I ever took. I wasnt in the mood of eating anything, all I wanted was her. Atlast I reached home, back to the boring place. My housemates were there but still felt all alone. It took me almost a week to get back to normal. The hour long phone calls started again but this time the experience was totally different. All my previous phone calls were to an imaginary person whom I had never met, never seen, never touched and never hugged. This time I could imagine her talking to me. I could see her smile through her voice. It was good and it was sad at the same time, being so near and far at the same time.

Kids...

2006-05-08T23:56:00.000+01:00

I just love kids. There were so many kids around when we were in India. Fatee was almost like friends to them. Just after one day, she was like a kid with them. They all use to site around her, talking to her, playing with her and feeling she is like one of them.

Of all the kids, Fatima (Teena) is my most favourite. The way she talks and behaves is mashaAllah cuteest.

There were other kids as well, Sakina, daughter of my cousin Reshma. She is the most intelligent kid i have ever met. She is a real genious mashaAllah se.

Then there was another kid, son of Parvez's would be sister-in-laws son. He was soooooooo yummy :-D but he was a bit too attached to her parents and never played with us alone :-(

Back Home...

2006-05-08T23:33:00.000+01:00

After spending some wonderful time together in Bangalore, we came back to my native place. The trip was tiring but we two had a wonderful time with other 6 passengers who were with us. They had a beautiful kid with them.

As soon as we got back to Bhusawal, we were pleasantly surprised by the news that my younger brother Parvez had a proposal from a family in Aurangabad. While we were in Bangalore, my parents arranged everything, Parvez met her in Aurangabad and they both liked each other. The girls family were coming to our place to meet us all.

We would be seeing her for the first time. Everyone was busy with the preparations. In a week's time they were coming. At home, everyone was saying Fatima is lucky for us, as soon as she is here, Parvez is ready to be hitched. So the day arrived and the girl's family with their extended family (15+) in all came to our place. Mom made wonderful food. Fatee was there to help her. I made Chana Daal ka halwa :-D everyone liked it.

So the girl's parents liked Parvez and our family, we liked Rashida and her family. And guess what? They asked if it is alright to get them engaged. We all were pleasently surprised. In the end we agreed. So they got engaged.

May Allah keep them happy together. Ameen.

Change of plans...

2006-04-25T15:57:00.000+01:00

Our plan was to go to Pakistan after spending some days in Bangalore but due to unavailability of tickets, we had to change it. We decided to go back to Bhusawal (my native place) and spend rest of my vacations there.

Mom and everyone at home were more than happy to know that we are coming back home . Main issue was about tickets from Bangalore to home. Thankfully because of Christmas, we got the tickets. We still have a couple of days to stay in Bangalore. We spent it shopping and meeting old friends. We were invited to one of our friends place for lunch. His family was happy to see us. It felt so different to go to his house married. The typical question 'shaadi kab kar rahe ho?' changed to 'aage ke kya plans hai?' and about kids and all *halo*.

This trip to Bangalore was a wonderful one, not only because of all the shopping, good food, friends and stuff, but more because it gave us time to know each other better. We were free to talk to raom to eat to behave as we wanted. We had seperate rooms at my company's guest house but most of the time we were spending time together in the lounge or in the garden. Alhamdolillah for each and every minute we spent together. I guess our relation now is basically because of the quality time we spent together in December 2004.

Monte Carlo...

2006-03-26T00:25:00.000Z

Next day I took her to see our flat. I have bought a flat but it a bit far from the city centre. The interior is still not done. Just some stuff that came along with the property. We will get the interior done once we decide to move back to Bangalore. InshaAllah next year may be.

Monte Carlo is a collection of nine blocks. Each named after a perfume. Each block is seven storeys high. Our flat is on sixth floor. Facing a palm resort. The view from the master bedroom is excellent. There are palm trees and then a lake. I have even thought about the interior idea. The ceiling will be sky blue with white clouds and hidden lights. So that it feels fresh and natural. At night, tiny fibre optics will illuminate the dark sky like stars. InshaAllah.

The landscaping is maintained and created by the builders in lieu of a payment every year. The feel is fresh and very elegant. Very well maintained as well. There are jogging tracks surrounding the property and children parks and stuff.

There is a community swimming pool and a recreation centre which has squash court, badminton court, indoor games like carron, snooker, chess, table tennis and others. There is a mini-super market inside and a very strict security. The guards accompanies the visitors to your door and once he is happy that you want to meet the visitor, they go back.

She was so happy to see her future home. We were already planning where to keep the sofas and where to put the chandeliers and where to put some plants. We just cant wait to go back to OUR home, to decorate it as we want, to live as we want. It is a big place, our families can come and live with us for as long as they want. Life will be so wonderful inshaAllah. Life is wonderful already, MashaAllah.

Food.... food... more food...

2006-03-18T00:07:00.000Z

We slept next morning till late after the wonderful dinner the night before. I took her to my office in Bangalore. All my colleages were so happy to see me after such a long time and they gave her a warm welcome as well. I showed her the place where I use to sit when I was in my Bangalore office.

The person who was happiest to see me was our coffee boy. My friend and I was his biggest customers. We use to have 10-12 coffees a day and the best part he liked about our custom was that we use to give him Rs 500 each and ask him to manage his books and let us know when the money was over. As soon as he use to see us free, he use to come with a cup of fresh filtered coffee.

As per our company policy, I was supposed to get food coupons every month. Even though I was here in UK, our admin had all my coupons in her drawer for all the months I was not there. There were coupons of like more than Rs 20,000. The best past was we had to use it before 31st Dec and only place we could use it were food joints. We had a huge task ahead of spending Rs 20,000 in 3-4 days on food. We went to the best places and had best food for next 3 days and managed to finish off most of the money *phew*

We spent most of our time shopping and eating. It was my turn to show her how well I knew the places to shop. I know very well where to find what, both cheap and places where shopping is a wonderful experience but not reasonably priced. She liked the Brigade Road, Richmond Road, M G Road, Commercial Street and other such places. This pic at the right is of Brigade Road, in the evenings it is impossible to even walk on this road. You can shop for anything and everything on this road. It looks like some alley way but you have to be on the Brigade Road to experience it. When I was new in Bangalore, going to MG Road and Brigade Road was the top preference of everyone :-)

13th Floor...

2006-03-05T22:46:00.000Z

Ahan, so we had planned a dinner at Ebony Towers, 13th Floor, yes thats the name of the restrau, 13th Floor. Unlucky for some but not for us. Nothing seemed unlucky during the lucky December of 2004, mashaAllah.

She wore the saree I sent her on Eid. She just loves that saree and the matching set of bangles that I sent with the saree. I had requested the lady at Bees in Green Street, London to make the best set of the bangles. And mashaAllah she did a wonderful job by mixing all the blues, goldens, browns and oranges to match each and every color available in the saree. She just spent 5 minutes in makeup and mashaAllah she was looking out of this world. I was thanking Allah for bringing her in my life. Not because she was beautiful but because she was beautiful and mine forever. InshaAllah.

Couple of my friends were with their wives and three alone, bachelors. It was good to talk about the good old days when seven of us use to live together and all the stories of whole antakshri nights and going to the Taj at 2:00am just to have some icecreams and those mid night buffets at Oberoi. Life was so different at that time and we all were behaving so sober with friends and others behaving so sober with their bhabhis.

The restrau is on 13th floor, hence the name. I had called in from my native place to book a table outside on the terrace. The view was mesmerizing, whole of the Bangalore was lit up with lights of all possible colours. The trail of yellow headlights and red tail lights on the M.G. Road below added a different touch to the background.

The food was delicious we knew the stuff that was good of this place so ordering was very easy. We spent more than three hours having a wonderful time and delicious food and the walk through the memory was wonderful as well. Us friends were most of the time talking about all the incidents and were talking about other friends who were not present at that time. InshaAllah it will be a monthly get together thingee once we move back to Bangalore soon.

After having the dinner, we went to Cafe CoffeeDay for a coffee and cake. We just followed the ritual as we use to do in our hay days. After dinners directly to Cafe CoffeeDay for coffees and pasteries. My all time fav pineapple and chocolate pastry with an extra large mug of Latte. Life changes so much and still nothing changes. Strange.

Missed flights...

2006-02-22T23:01:00.000Z

After missing last nights flights, we made sure to set the alarm for 5:30 in the morning to catch the 6:30 flight. The hotel was 5 minutes away from the airport.

She was up and ready before 5:30 and started to wake me up. "Airport is just 5 mins away" sentence were my only words on auto-repeat till 6:00 and by the time we reached airport, the flight was all ready to leave and so we missed the flight. We lost all the money we had spent on the tickets because we had already made one change on it. There was no room on any flight till next day. Only option was to travel first class.

So after losing all the money, we booked first class. The flight had 5 more hours to do. Out of the five hours, I got to listen to her lecture for more than three hours. After that we spent our time in the lounge having tea and biscuits and listening to music on our laptop. Just about half and hour before boarding, I realised that we could have used the Premium lounge as we had first class tickets and could have spent our time in luxury *smack*

We still went in there for half an hour :p

Finally we managed to board the flight and reached Bangalore in the afternoon. I had invited few of my friends for dinner that evening and I had made the booked and arranged a table as well. My friends were a bit worried because we were supposed to be there a day before and we had made no contact with them at all. As soon as we reached there, I called them up to tell them that the dinner was still on.

An evening in Bombay...

2006-02-20T22:53:00.000Z

We checked 3-4 hotels before deciding on this one. I went to check the room, first thing I saw was this hanging jhoola thingee. It really looked nice and there was a very very beautiful and huge stained glass painting on the wall. The lightings perfect. Room size comfortably large.

We spent our evening in our hotel room, had a so-so chinese food in the hotel's restrau. After taking showers, we started with her favourite pass time, taking pictures. Loads of different poses, loads of different styles, locations. Some pics in front of the painting, some pics on the jhoola thingee... some on the sofa some on the bed.

I felt an urge for a coffee. I was about to call the room service but she insisted to go to the lounge and have it there. We went down to the lounge and after spending some time and having coffee, we came back. Since we didnt sleep last night, we decided to call it a day. We instantly went to sleep, not forgetting our alarm for 5:30 in the morning to catch the early morning flight.

New Day... New Life...

2006-02-20T15:50:00.000Z

All the relatives went back to their homes. We as a family were all together with a new member in our family. She jelled in very well. I never felt that my brothers, my parents were living with her just from last couple of days. Everyone felt she was with us all our lives. Thats her magic.

When I woke up in the morning, I felt different. I felt myself more responisble, more mature. Am sure she must have felt the same. Afterall she had decided to live all her life with me and to manage and make my home. Not a small task.

The tickets we had booked for Bangalore were still on waiting list and there was no chance that it could have made it to confirm status. So we cancelled those tickets. Mom decided that she would stay back and let us two go to Bombay and then fly from there to Bangalore. In the evening we got ready for Bombay. We had planned to stay whole day in Bombay with my phoopi and then leave in the evening, last flight to Bangalore.

We reached Bombay early morning at 6:00 am. We went to my phoopi's place. They were really happy to see us there.

We went to Matheran, a hill station near Bombay, to see a girl for my cousin. She liked that small hill station a lot. It was cold and green and unspoilt. The only mode of transport on this small hill station is by foot or by horses. There were loads of monkeys roaming around, hanging down from trees, lots of them, with their kids. It was really an experience to see them having nice time. We were warned of taking good care of our camera and our bags because these monkeys are known for running away with your stuff.

We went on a horse ride from station to the place where we had to go. It was a wonderful experience.

We took a car from Matheran to the Airport, we had to meet one more of my cousin on our way. We had a wonderful and lavish lunch at her place. This lunch did cost us our flight. We missed it. We had to book a room in a hotel in Bombay and reschedule our flights for next morning 6:30am. We lost half of the cost of the tickets but we thought thats Allah's wish.

Tired...

2006-02-02T21:35:00.000Z

After a very long day we came back home. All my friends came back with us for a cup of tea. We all talked about our childhood and stuff. After midnight, everyone left. She left to her room as well. Her mother was with us talking. My parents and brother, her mother and I kept talking till 2:30 in the morning. Then we called it a day.

Everyone woke up early, I slept till mid day. Her family was leaving the same evening. We all went to see them off at the station. My khala had invited us all for dinner. Lunch/Dinner/Tea invitations were coming from all directions. We tried to avoid as many as possible but as you know new couples are hot property and everyone wants to invite them for a meal.

We had planned to go to a place called Burhanpur then next day. My family, herself and my Mamoo came with us. We had a wonderful time. Went to see some historical places. Will try and post some pictures from there. InshaAllah.

We had planned for a trip to Bangalore. Herself, my Mom and I. So that I could show her my new flat in Bangalore, my office, my friends, the city I love. The city where we will spend rest of our lives, InshaAllah.

Nikaah...

2006-01-27T17:22:00.000Z

Immediately after the engagement and after eating the yummy pineapple and cream cake, she and I went to get dressed for the nikah. The nikah was scheduled for just before nine in the evening. People who were invited for nikah ceremony already started coming and took their place in our tiny hall.

Everything was happening at a jet speed for me. I was still not able to believe that I was engaged a few minutes back to a girl i knew from last 6 months and met a couple of days back. Six months sounded too less. Last couple of days felt too long. Everything that happened to me in last two days went flashed back and I was so happy to feel that I will spend my whole life with this person. And immediately roughly multiplied 365 with 60, optimistically thinking we would live together till I was 90. And she even longer after that. I was more than happy.

I got ready, my childhood friends were with me it was good to see them all together at same time at the same place. There was a rasm where my didi had to put the black pen thingee on my eyes. It was too hard to keep the eyes open while she is trying to draw stuff in my eyes. And guess what she got money for it, that too in pounds.

She was with mom, other members of family and neighbours in the other room. I was with the invitees and the maulvi saab and the witnesses. Nikah was done in roughly 15-20 minutes and she and I were officially husband and wife. It is really strange how a few signature make you feel different about yourself, about the other person about every body around you. Makes you feel so very responsible and mature, instantly.

We all headed towards the hall where dinner was to be served.

Engagement...

2006-01-25T12:08:00.000Z

There was a power outage in the evening she had to get ready in light of a couple of candles and a small emergency light. She managed to do a wonderful job with the minimal resources.

Engagement was scheduled for 7pm. Since ours is a huge family, more than 150 people, we decided we would invite just the elders and one from each family still it turned out to be more than 40 people. The engagement was arranged in our hall which was too small for these many people but still everyone managed to squeeze in.

I was ready in few minutes and was roaming around, talking to everyone and making them comfortable. I wore a beige colour kurta-churidar pyjama. . It was around seven O' clock when she came in. She was looking beautiful. In her pinkish ( I know she will come up with some wierd sounding name for that colour) shalwar kameez and all silver jewellery.

The rasm started immediately because the whole place had to be changed for the nikah ceremony happening at 8:30. Without any delays, mom did her bits of the rasms. I was waiting for my turn to give her the engagement ring which i bought on my way to India from Bahrain. I wasnt sure which one to buy so I bought two. Mom asked her choice in the morning. It was a relief to know that she would like the ring as she picked it up herself from the two.

The saddest part is that the pics that were taken by a professional photographer were all messed up because of power issues :-(

more Mehendi...

2006-01-18T11:09:00.000Z

I woke up early the next day. Took a shower and was ready for breakfast. She and her family were called for breakfast. She was wearing red. She looked stunningly beautiful.

She was very happy to see the colour and design of her mehendi. It all looked beautiful. After breakfast and stuff, she was ready again to get mehendi applied on her feet now. My friend's wife came on time to do her job. My relatives from other cities, who were invited to attend our nikah, started coming early in the morning. Atmosphere in the house was more lively and more chaotic than the day before. The expressions on every ones face after meeting with her made me feel more happy, more proud, more confident and more relieved.

There were no books for designs of mehendi on feet. It was sort of a panic situation. Mom started making calls to everyone she know who could have a mehendi book but all in vain. Fatee then explained some design of her own to my friend's wife. She got the idea about what she wanted.

It took more time to apply on feet than to apply on hands or may be i felt it that way. I was too bored looking at it I guess. I really salute these two ladies for their patience, my friend's wife for patience to understand what she wants and to apply and Fatee's patience to sit there in one position and get it all done. I was busy taking pictures of everyone and busy eating something or the other.

The mehendi applier was a very creative lady. Instead of applying plain black layer on the soles, she made some chess like patterns. So that it gets dry soon and it looks different as well. The unfilled squares looked bland so some designs were put on those as well. Looked cool.

The mehendi was supposed to be done around lunch time to give enough time to let it dry and colours to appear before it was taken off at around seven in the evening, giving her enough time to get ready for the engagement.

Lunch was served, everyone got busy with preparations for the evening. There was too much to do and too little time left.

Plans...

2006-01-16T16:38:00.000Z

The day we reached my native place was 13th December 2004. It started with meeting my Kakima and Didi... they were happy to see her and relieved to see me finally decided about my shaadi. It was decided that our engagement would happen at 7:00 pm followed by nikah at 8:52 on 14th December 2004.

My parents never felt they were meeting her for the first time. We were behaving as if we knew each other since childhood and our family arranged our marriage when we were a year old. This pic was taken by her mom for us. I love this pic. It says it all.

The atmosphere in the house was wonderful. People coming and going. Lots of noise, lots of chaos, lots of mithais and chai's. Almost everyone from my dad's extended family (there are more than 150 members) came to meet her. She was too confused to remember who was who. She still is :-)

She was supposed to get her mehendi done on 13th. One of my friends wife was called to put mehendi on her hands and feet. I was with her all the time, taking pics, annoying her all the time and eating as and when and whatever I could eat. Mom was tired of making stuff for me on request then I asked her to give me whatever was ready in the kitchen.

It took almost the whole day to apply mehendi all over her hands... in front and at the back, upto her elbows and tatoos on her shoulder. There was no time for mehendi on her feet. So it was decided that my friend's wife would come next day morning to apply on her feet.

In the evening we had to go to our maulvi's place to fill in the nikah forms. For her it was like walking on a rope with all the mehendi on her arms... trying not to touch her hands anywhere and to keep them straight all the time. She did a good job. The mehendi was still intact when she came back. The forms were filled. Only signatures remained, those were supposed to be done in front of everyone, the next day...

Welcome to the family...

2006-01-09T12:04:00.000Z

We spent our whole journey from Bombay to my native place, talking. It was an overnight journey. We talked about our past, our future, about my parents, my relatives, about India, about my native place.

Train reached at around seven in the morning. My younger brother, didi, my mamoo and my khala were at the railway station to receive us. They were there with flowers and garlands to welcome a new member to the family. Their smile said it all. My fear had now dispappeared. We live just a few minutes from the railway station so I am not able to recall the journey from station to home, i guess nothing special happened in between :-)

Mom was already waiting to see her her daughter-in-law for the first time. Her face lit up as soon as she saw us coming. I guess it was because of me :-p

Mom did the 'karasiyo' thingee. Karasiyo is one of our custom, in which she welcomes the bahu by circling a copper jug kind of thing over her for seven times. Then she welcomed her with some flowers and a rose garland. Then she hugged her. Her face told me that she has really welcomed this new member to her family.

We had something to eat with the most delicious tea in the world. Then mom gave us a list of things to do for the whole day...

Introduction...

2006-01-04T11:40:00.000Z

Here she was in front of me, in real. I wasnt in a condition to react. I was just looking at her blankly. I then brought my hand forward to say Hello!

She hugged me :-)

I was not in this world, I was floating somewhere else. After all these days/weeks/months of anticipation, here she was standing in front of me. My brother and cousin went to get the cab sorted. I hugged her.

On our way to hotel, we kept talking and never ever felt that I was seeing her or meeting her for the first time, in real. It was like how it is when I meet my parents/brother/friends when I visit India. It all came very very natural and normal. I thanked Allah for making her the way she was.

She had to do her Police reporting and stuff so whole evening we were together roaming around and going from office to office to get the reporting sorted. I believe it was Allah's way of making us more comfortable to each other and to make each other know better that He made us go from office to office. Otherwise if it was done in few minutes, we would have spent our evening at hotel with everyone else.

I took her out for shopping after the reporting was done. I took her to Metro for shoes and after lots and lots of insisting be the salesman and by me, she still refused to buy a shoe or sandal. But it was just for that day I guess, because a few days later she bought 4/5 pairs of shoes and sandals :-p

We spent two days in Bombay. Time went by so quickly. All the time with her, I was happy; happy as I was never before. But still somewhere in my heart, I was afraid. There was a fear of what if my parents, my family, my relatives don't find her as they had imagined. The feeling got worse when I reached my native place.

My parents were about to see their daughter-in-law...

The Day...

2005-12-30T16:51:00.000Z

My flight was suppose to land at 12:45pm. Hers was supposed to land at 11:45 am. There was an hour between our landing. My brother was supposed to be there to receive us. I knew it would take her long to do all the immigration formalities and I would finish my formalities before her and would be outside to receive her.

So after all the anticipation, here I was, sitting in the plane which is about to land in 10 minutes. I was rehearsing my act. I would shake hands and say "Hi, I am Saleem. Naam to suna hoga". Uff these were the worst ten minutes of my life. I was feeling uneasy. Was not able to sit but had to sit that too with seat belts. I was feeling like someone chained me.

Okie so here was the time to see her in reality. As soon as I came out of the airport, I saw my younger brother and my cousin waiting for me. I didnt see her anywhere around. I knew she was still busy with the immigration. After meeting my bro and cousin I asked them about her, they said she hasnt come out as yet. I asked them to book a cab for us and we will leave as soon as she comes. Then immediately I saw an attractive looking, jaani-pehchaani girl standing behind my brother. SHE WAS IN FRONT OF MEEEEEE!!!!

Anticipation...

2005-12-22T16:10:00.000Z

Once the tickets were booked and we knew the date (11th December 2004) time almost stopped to a stand still. Days felt longer and nights seemed non-ending. We both were busy with our shopping and traveling preparations. I had to buy clothes for my engagement and for the nikah but after having a look at shops in Green Street and Wembley, I decided to do my shopping from Bombay.

My parents were still not able to decide on dates for engagement and nikah. It was still not decided if it was to be done the same day or a day after. These talks didn't bother me at all. All I was thinking about was meeting her for the first time.

Along with the happiness and curiosity, there was also an element of fear. Somewhere in my heart, I use to think about what if she doesn't like me in real life. You can know a person online, but it is so very different to carry forward the same emotions for the person when you meet them in real life. I was sure from my side about my feelings. I knew I would love to see her, talk to her and be with her in real life as I do in virtual life. But what if...

When you are in a state looking for answers, and in a state of confusion, day is like a heaven. You go to work and you get yourself involved in your routine activities and ignore about your confusion. Then comes night. All your questions comes out from their hiding in front of you. Bugging you and creeping all over you for answers. The most horrible of all the questions was... What if???

Problems...

2005-12-16T12:39:00.000Z

So, I got a call from Pakistan Embassy to tell me that they have approved my visa application and I should go there next day to get it stamped. That was a wonderful news. Totally unexpected. Instead of waiting for minimum six weeks, I got the visa in a day. Alhamdolilah. This was a sign, Allah wanted us to meet.

Everyone was relieved to hear that my visa was all sorted. My younger brother went to Delhi to get their visas sorted. No miracles at that side of the world. They were not ready to consider my family's application. For them an engagement was not a big enough reason for my family to travel to Pakistan. Dreams shattered.

Fatima's mother, brother and bhabhi were in India already. They met my family and both families liked each other. One load off the mind.

There was one option. I alone to go to Pakistan and get myself engaged. I didn't feel like going this route. Fatima and I started thinking about other options. She is a person who gets worried too easily. She couldn't sleep for a couple of nights, she was just thinking about what will happen next. I on the other hand is 'take it easy' kind of a person. But I was worried as well, didn't show it to her and acted all cool about the situation.

One fine morning, I thought of something. I called her and told her about my idea of what if she travels to India. Her family was already there. We could get engaged or better nikah'ed in India. She had no issues with this idea and we thought why didn't this occur to us before. So now all the original plans went down the drain and new seeds of imaginations were sown. All we were thinking now was about us meeting in India.

Alhamdolillah, she got her Indian visa easily because of help from her friends who took her to embassy at 5 o'clock in the morning and arranging easy entrance to the office.

Once visas were sorted, we both booked our tickets for India...

A morning in Pakistan Embassy...

2005-12-15T16:23:00.000Z

From my past experience for applying visas for Singapore and France, I left at around 6 a.m. for the Pakistani Embassy. I was the only person there, the staff started coming at around 9 am. Consulate opened at 10 a.m. I asked the person at the reception about how long will it take to get a visa. To my surprise, he said 45 minutes. Then he saw the blue Indian passport in my hand and immediately changed his statement to six weeks minimum. This statement shattered all my dreams to go to Pakistan.

Only five weeks remained for last week of December, my original plan for travel. I went to see the 'Indian visa' expert at the Pakistani Embassy and explained him the situation. He assured me of doing something and providing his own reference to the officer. He asked me to leave my telephone numbers so that he can contact me if he manages to get the visa approved from his boss. I was not very positive and confident about this. Why would someone give his reference for me and why would someone call me to tell me that visa is approved?

A couple of days later I got a call from the embassy...

The best Eid...

2005-12-14T13:41:00.000Z

Early in the morning at around 5am my time, I got a text message from her saying, she got the parcel. I was eager to talk to her to know if she liked the gifts. I called her first thing after I reached office. It was soooooo good to know that she just loved each and every thing I had sent.

I got messages, emails, offline messages from each and every cousin of hers and all the friends of hers saying how beautiful the saree was. I was prouder of myself than I was on the day I had sent the gifts :-)

We had promised each other that we would talk for the whole night on the Eid night. And so we did. I felt the night was too short because all I remembered in the morning was dialing the phone card company five or six times that's it.

Now that Eid was gone, all we had to look forward to was December. The imaginary and an unconfirmed day when we would see each other was like another Eid in waiting. I started looking on net about the visa process for an Indian national for Pakistan. There wasn't enough information available. I decided a day when I would personally go and apply for the visa. My parents were waiting for me to let them know the procedure for them as well.

Sometime in November I went to the Pakistan High Commission office in London to apply for my visa. Fifteen minutes after entering the consulate, my view to visit to Pakistan and my engagement in December looked very different...

Ramadan...

2005-12-13T10:32:00.000Z

This was our first Ramadan after we met online. We use to talk till her sehri and then we use to talk after my sehri. So basically we both were sleep deprived and talking all the time :-) sleep was no where near on our priority list.

Even before Ramadan started, I started thinking about Eid gift for her. After first 15 days of Ramadan, I started worrying about what to send to her as her first Eid gift. I got a surprise from her. A parcel arrived somewhere near 20th of Ramadan. There was a very nice and a perfectly fitting Shalwar-Kameez for me and loads of cards and a CD. I was wondering what was in it. I thought may be some songs she recorded for me. As soon as I played the CD. I was shocked. It was a 15 minutes video of hers. She got it recorded at her office. That really was a wonderful suprise. I copied some pics out of that video :-)

I wanted to meet her more badly now.

Finally, I went to the Green Street in East London to see and decide what to send to her for Eid. I tried looking for clothes, jewellery, shoes, table top gifts, music albums, etc etc but nothing impressed me. I was so disappointed. Then, on my way back, I saw a shop. I went in. There were some very good sarees there. I liked one a lot. I bought it. Then I went to a choori shop and asked the lady at the counter to suggest some chooris for the saree. She took 45 minutes to get me a set perfectly matching to the saree and the embroidery. I felt proud of myself to be able to shop a saree and chooris for the first time in my life :-)

I posted the saree, the chooris, mehendi and some cards to her and was waiting eagerly for her to let me know that she received the parcel.

After a week I got a text from her...

Preparations...

2005-12-12T15:43:00.000Z

Our talks now changed to more of preparation talks. We started discussing about my family's and my traveling plans to Pakistan. It was not a straight forward planning, we had to consider the time required for my visa processing for Pakistan. Her mother, elder brother and sister-in-law were supposed to be in India for a month from mid-November to mid-December.

I on the other hand, was planning with my parents about who all will be joining us in Pakistan for engagement. After much discussions and analyzing position, health condition, passport and visa status, readiness to travel and other such factors of each and every member in our family, it was decided that my mother, father, two younger brothers, my didi and kakima would join us in Pakistan for the engagement. Travel dates were decided for last week of December. We still had enough time, six weeks before engagement.

Everything was left for later. We thought it would be simple to just apply for the visa for Pakistan, book the tickets and land in Pakistan. Each of my family members had different view to the trip obviously after the engagement. This was our first trip ever to Pakistan. For my dad, it was about the Pakistani food. For my mom and didi, it was about shopping. For my brothers it was about touristy bits. For me, it was meeting her in real for the first time.

Fatima and I use to discuss about the places she would like to take me to. Every day there were atleast three new places where she would take me. Including 10s of eating places in Karachi and 10s of places to shop in Islamabad and 10 of places to see in Pindi and ofcourse above all, Muree. After a few days I realised it would take me atleast three months to eat, roam and shop in Pakistan :-)

We were impatiently waiting for December...

Proposal...

2005-12-10T11:07:00.000Z

All this time we were thinking along the lines that we will meet in December and then decide if we are good for each other. From the day I told her that I love her, I wanted to get married to her. December all of a sudden lost its importance. All that was important was to be with her. We decided to get engaged in December and get married in June/July 2005.

Mom knew about Fatee. She knew that I was in touch with a girl from Pakistan and I had shown her the pictures of her. She like her a lot but she did not give her views. She wanted me to decide on my own. I was still thinking about when to ask mom to call ammi and talk about our engagement in December. Then one day Zainab, Fatee's sister, pinged me. We use to talk a lot when Fatee use to sleep early because of a tired day at work. Zainab and I use to talk for hours together about how important Fatee is to her, their childhood memories, their fights, them sharing all the shoes, makeup, clothes, etc.

The more you hear about the person you love from others, the more you get to know about them. When you directly talk to the person, you get to know what you want to know. By talking with others, you get to know their point of view about the concerned person. It adds finer details to the portrait you have.

Zainab was supposed to go for a picnic and wanted to tell all her friends about her sisters engagement. It was now necessary to talk to mom for the formal and official rishta. Mom called ammi on 9th October to say we would like to do the engagement in December. WOW the feeling was unbelievable. Fatee and I remember this date so well because it was Maryam's birthday.

So, December it was...

The Day...

2005-12-10T01:06:00.000Z

I wasn't able to sleep properly for a couple of nights. I was thinking all the time about how I should say those three magical words. There was also a tussle about whether I should say the four magical words first or the three: four being Will you marry me? Four words, not counting the question mark :-)

On third October 2004 I told her. The words I was holding back for so long. The words I wanted to tell her long time back but was not sure enough or rather I should say not brave enough to say. I told her that I love her. She was silent. Not a word from her. I asked her again and again. She replied back but I could feel the emotions she was going through. It was the most beautiful night in a long long long time :-)

On the bed, after talking to her, I went through all the things that had happened in those three months. The journey from 'Hi, this is Fatima' to 'I love you too'. The journey from 'I am from Rawalpini' to 'Where we will live after marriage'. The journey from 'I have one brother and two sisters' to 'We will have just three kids'. The journey from 'It was nice talking to you' to 'Thanks for coming into my life'. I wasn't able to sleep again, not because of indecisiveness but because of the calm, because of relief, because of lightness I was feeling. The Sunday of third October changed the way we talked on phone for ever.

Now all I had to do was ask my mom to call her mom and send a proper rishta :-)

First time...

2005-12-05T14:03:00.000Z

During all these days, along with talking to her daily, I also talked to a lot of her friends. I talked to her colleages a few time whenever i called her at her work. I talked to her cousins. I talked to a lot of her friends.

It was Kinza's shaadi. If I remember right, it was her Mehendi, I talked to her when she was gettig ready at Ambreens place. Then i talked to all her friends. I felt good. I felt like a part of their life. I felt the importance of me being a part of their friend's life.

She came home and she was trying to contact me. I had told her in the evening that I wanted to see her all dressed. She came home, and didnt change, just so that I could see her on webcam. Finally i saw her text messages and her offlince messages after an hour or so. I thought Oh NOOOOOOOOOO!!! did I miss the chance to see her all dressed up?

Nope. She was there. Still waiting for me. :-)

She wore a blue-green coloured very interesting and very unique shalwar-kameez. It had a slant cut. One of her sleeves were slant cut. Her neck was slant cut. She was looking marvelous.

I thought for a second. I thought should I tell her today?

Things started to change..

2005-12-04T21:32:00.000Z

Whenever I use to think about my future, my future home, my future wife, my future kids, my future life, my days after marriage, my evenings after marriage, I use to imagine a face. Blurred face. An abstract face. A random face.

I got this picture from her on 22nd September. This picture changed a lot of things. It made me aware about her grace, aware about her mischievous eyes, aware about her style, aware about her bonding nature.

A lot of things started happening by the end of September. I felt myself more attached to her. I started seeing her instead of that abstract, random, blur face. I started weaving my dreams with her as my wife. I told my mom that I like her and would like to marry her. Mom said "Its your life. You decide".

I decided.

I was looking forward for a suitable moment to propose her. To invite her to come and share my dreams. To invite her into my life. To invite her into my family to become a part of my family. To invite her into my future.

I waited till...

A Trip to India...

2005-12-03T10:43:00.000Z

On August 28th, 2004 I had to go to India to sort out legalities regarding the flat i bought in Bangalore. I wasnt aware that my mom would fix some meetings with a family in Bombay for shaadi.

It was my fault I didnt say that I was talking so seriously with Fatima. I told my mother about her but nothing in detail.

I had to go and meet this girl, I honestly told her that I am talking to a girl from Pakistan and would not be able to decide anything before December. I liked talking to her but didnt say anything.

I came back to UK after 3 days and told Fatima about this girl I met. She was angry, obviously. But I managed to convince her that I would meet her in December and I am going to make any decision after meeting her.

Things were not the same again. We use to talk but not the way we use to before. We were more formal and we spoke very carefully. It went on for a month.

Then things became normal. Then one fine day I got a pic from her...

We talked...

2005-12-03T10:26:00.000Z

I started calling her once a week. We use to talk for an hour atleast. I never felt that I know this person from a few weeks but felt like I know her since ages. She was so easy to converse with, no need to think about topics, just free flowing words.

We use to chat every morning for two to three hours and phone once a week. We felt once a week is too much. So instead of once a week for an hour we decided we would talk every other day for 20 minutes. But it turned out to be an hour every other day.

While talking to her, sometimes I use to get an off feeling by the names she use to call me *rolleyes* but then came to know thats her style :-)

This went on for couple of months. We were not going to make any decision unless we met. We planned that I will go to Pakistan in December and spend a week with her and her family and then we will decide about the future.

Then I had to go to India...

... I called

2005-11-10T00:33:00.000Z

Exactly after a week of us meeting online, I called. It was late in the evening for her around 11pm. I thought I would talk for five-ten minutes, say hi hello and thats it.

It all started with the same questions we had gone through in the chat and some more... the first thing I noticed after talking to her was her sincere voice. Then her clinkling laughter. Then her 'ahans' and 'ohos'. Then her stupid little proverbs and quotes like 'Ande becho joote lo' (means sell the eggs and buy shoes) and also 'Woh bhi kya din the jab hum Jinn the' (means those were the days when I was a ghost) I know it sounds stupid. I was laughing like crazy.

We talked for 45 minutes. My phone card expired then I called her again from the phone card I had reserved to call my mum to tell her that I will call again soon.

I did call her again...

another day it was...

2005-11-08T00:42:00.000Z

hmmm so then it was another day of chat. I was loving the way she use to tell me about everything happening in her life and the major things that had happened to her. Basically for a week or so it was just about the important stuff and trying to see whether our likes and dislikes were same or not. Believe me, there is hardly anything we like that are similar :-)

Few more pics were exchanged and commented upon. The pic I posted in the previous was among the first few pics she sent but not really the first one. This pic above is really 'the first pic' she sent. This was what Fatima (or Fatee as we all call her) looked like to me.

We exchanged our mobile numbers and started to text each other... initially there were just the forwarded messages that were exchanged...'Sweet like Jalebi...' sorts.

Then I told her that I will try to call her one day...

as promised...

2005-10-25T20:13:00.000+01:00

This was one of her first pictures she sent me. This was the first time I saw her. The first impression was that she looks pretty. But there she was, just another girl, someone in Pakistan who is trying to make friends and trying, testing waters, to find a life partner.

She was for me a new chat friend, someone I can talk to a few days with interest, someone I can share lots of things that are on my mind about myself, about my life, about my future. Someone with whom I can talk about her interests, her family, her friends, her life, her way of looking at the world.

While travelling on a bus, when I see someone standing in front of me, I think for a few moments about the life of that person... the story behind that face, what they do for a living, who all are there in their family, where that person is going or coming from. Talking to her was a similar kind of an experience.

So, as promised, we met again the next day... to talk about our lives, what we do, what we really want from life, what we have been through in our lives, what we expect, what we think about everything. I was getting to know more and more of the story behind this face. The surreal and the calm, the mischevieous and at the same time simple, the honest and at the same time mysterious, the common and so maKhsuus face.

We talked again for hours... to talk again another day...

...One fine day

2005-10-24T22:44:00.000+01:00

7th July 2004, around 10am GMT

I got a ping on my yahoo...

from someone unknown... but not so...someone i never heard of...
someone i never talked to before... someone i never saw...
someone maKhsuus :-)

we chatted for 4 hours non-stop... about everything we knew of ourselves,
about our lives, about our past, about our futures, about our family...

we promised each other we will talk again...

maKhsuus...

2005-10-24T14:16:00.000+01:00

Makhsuus means special, particular...


mohabbat ke liye kuch khaas dil maKhsuus hote hain
yeh woh naghma hai jo har saaz pe gaya nahi jaataa


You wait all your life for someone particular...someone special...
you meet hundreds of people and your heart says...
is this the makhsuus one? 

Your mind says yeah...may be... may be not...

then one fine day....